People ask me all the time how Mike and I met so…here’s our story.
I had my heart broken in Oct of 2005.
I swore off men and even though I was 30, my Korean parents said to me “There is no rush to get married…you’ll find someone when the time is right, as for now, just be happy.” (I know, my parents are like the unicorns of Asian parents.)
I was all kinds of depressed about the breakup but I got over it pretty quickly.
I started a new job in Feb of 2006 at a place I never thought I would ever work at. It was an entirely different line of work for me and the pay was less than my usual. But for some reason, I was pulled to work there.
My fellow new colleague was a tall boy who I thought dressed badly.
My boss said to me one day, “What do you think of the new guy? He’s cute!” I said, “I guess but he’s not my type.”
I knew better than to date someone I worked with…I had done it once before and I didn’t want to do it again. Too much drama.
Plus, the new dude was 4 years younger than me. He was a baby. He was only 26.
My boss wanted to take the newbies out to dinner so I had the new dude meet me at my house and we’d carpool to the sushi joint.
He came over and it was like we were old friends. We had met like twice before at the office but we were totally at ease with each other. We hung out in my room and he started laughing looking at my CD and DVD collection.
My convo with the new boy went something like this:
Mike: What’s this crap?
Kathy: You shut your mouth, I love the Backstreet Boys.
Mike: And right next to it, you have Nine Inch Nails…
Kathy: I love them too.
Mike: That’s interesting.
Kathy: I love all kinds of music.
Mike: No way! The Last Dragon!
Kathy: “Now, when I say, “Who’s da mastah?” you say, “Sho’nuff!”
Mike: Oh man, this one’s a classic too.
Kathy: Big Trouble in Little China is one of the best movies ever made in the history of man.
Mike: I agree. I can’t believe you love these movies.
Years later, he would tell me that my love for those movies made him crush on me starting that night. Haha.
That night, we went to sushi and had an amazing time. The boss asked if there was something already going on between us and we said no. She said there was definitely some kind of chemistry. We just laughed it off. After dinner, Mike and I drove around down PCH just talking and laughing. We mostly talked about music. He promised to make me a mixed tape of his favorites. I never got that mixed tape.
A few days later, he told me to come over to his place to watch a movie and eat his famous homemade thin crust cheese pizza which was soooooo good.
The movie he chose:
Mmmmmhmmmm…he knew I was gonna be all kinds of scared and wanna snuggle with him.
Well played my friend, well played.
We struggled for a short period of time if it was a wise decision to date only because we worked so closely together. At the end of the day, we decided to give it a try and that if things didn’t work out, we’d be adults about it and just move on with our lives.
So in March of 2006, we officially became a couple.
On one of our first dates and pics as a couple!
I met his parents pretty early on in the relationship and they were both nice. It was too soon for me to introduce him to mine. I was cautious after what happened with my previous relationship.
6 months later, Mike got us Disneyland Premium passes.
Kathy: Dude! This is too expensive!
Mike: We love Disneyland…it’s down the street, we can go anytime!
Kathy: What happens if we break up?
Mike: Then we’ll still have fun at Disneyland on our own.
Kathy: You’re crazy.
Mike I know.
Right after our first day at Disneyland, I texted him and said “I don’t know if this is too soon, but I feel the need to tell you that I love you.” He texted back and said “Ditto.”
At this point, I was comfortable enough for him to meet my parents. He was so nervous and sweating bullets. My mom thought he was super nice and cute. My dad, not so much. He was a little cautious and didn’t say much to him except grunt a hi.
3 months later, we went ring shopping…We were walking out of the jewelry store when he stopped and said, “You know what? Let’s just buy it now. We’re going to get married anyway.”
And let me tell ya, he put together gorgeous ring for me. I had to sit down after I saw it because it was more than I expected.
A few weeks later, we picked up the ring and he said to me, “I’m not gonna tell you when I’m going to propose but I’ll make sure it’s memorable.”
When we got back to his place, I wanted to see the ring before he put it away.
Kathy: Can I see the ring?
Kathy: Can I try it on?
So I did, and swooned. I was about to take it off when he said, “Just keep it on.”
Kathy: What? Are you sure?
Mike: Yep. When you know, you know.
And that my friends, is how we got engaged.
He custom made it for me
So that night, on December 3rd, we drove to my parents house to tell them the news. My dad excused himself and got all teary eyed. They were both super excited and sat us down and spoke to us about the important things that make a marriage work and last. After about an hour or so my dad wanted to end the evening with a nice little prayer of blessing for us. While we were praying, I felt someone grab my left hand and lift it up. I opened my eyes and it was my mother, checking out my engagement ring “discreetly” with one eye open.
My mom got caught by my dad and she got in troooooouble. Hahahaha. 😉
When news got out, my parents got flack from some of their friends for “allowing their daughter to marry a white man…” and they defended us every single time.
6 months later, we got married on a giant boat and dudes, it was super rad and dreamy (If you’re planning on getting married, check out Fantasea Yachts! in Marina Del Rey, they are super friendly and so great!) and it’s so perfect for the old school Asian people who typically leave right after a wedding because they were stuck on the boat for fun, good food, drinks, dancing, and mingling for almost the whole day <3 A good time was had by all!
So our timeline is: We met in Feb 2006. Started dating March of 2006. Got engaged December 2006 and married in June of 2007. That’s kind of cray, right?
I quit my job to plan the wedding and the plan was to go back after we got back from our honeymoon but because he had a really rad new job, we decided I would not be returning to work and take care of life stuff while he brought home the bacon. Josh was born in 2009 and Matty, 2010, and I’ve been a Stay At Home Mom since and it’s worked amazingly for us.
Mike has never ever given me a hard time or made me feel guilty or bad for not bringing in an income. We know that we could be making a lot more dinero but to us, what he brings home is enough to keep us happy and provide our kids with the kind of education we want for them and a sweet life. We don’t do much for ourselves (I look like i just rolled out of bed most days) but we invest in our kids and things for our family and that is what works for us. I was told by so many when I was thinking about being a SAHM that it wasn’t good for me as a woman and that I would lose myself…but let me tell ya, the opposite happened for me.
I not only feel empowered doing what I do for my kids, my husband, our household, and my friends and family who need me, but I feel like I truly have found myself and my gifts and talents doing what I do. Different things work for different families and the right thing is whatever makes YOU AND YOUR FAMILY happy.
This is me, you do you <3
He’s the one who first encouraged me to start a blog about motherhood, marriage and everything in between. That I could have a real voice in a world where everything is sunshiny and rainbows. He believed in me so it make me have more faith in myself too. Now I’m really going for my dream and working on 2 books currently. One is to turn this blog into a book and the other is a fictional tale about two ordinary people who have an extraordinary love <3 I cannot wait to share it with you all!
We’ve been together for 11 years now and June 9th will be our 10 year wedding anniversary. Throw in 2 kids and it’s been an adventure thus far!
My friend Hwaling, who was my Matron of Honor, made my veil and I still love to wear it around the house whenever I need to feel like a purty demented princess…
Mike and I have been driving one another crazy for years now and there are moments when we don’t like each other at all (Let’s just keep it real REAL).
I know there’s been many times when he just wanted to get all FI-FI-FO! on me and squish me and there’s been times when I’ve wanted to poke his eyeballs out and smother him with my pillow while he slept (Just kidding…kind of) but one thing that is constant and true, is that I love him wholeheartedly and he loves me just the same…he adores me and it’s obvious to anyone who meets him.
Plus, these 12 words snap us out of any kind of madness we face together…and it works.
“IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU, IT’S ABOUT US AND THOSE CRAZY ASS POOPHEADS.”
We’ve had our super highs and super lows…and there was a time when we didn’t know if we would make it (That 7 year itch is ugly) but we got through it. Because we have faith in God and we have an enormous faith in each other…and we knew that there was a big reason why we fell in love in the first place and that would never ever change despite the fights, ugly words and disagreements we had or will have.
Here’s the thing, you can’t go into a marriage thinking the spouse will change their ways in the things you don’t really like about them. The only way a person changes something about themselves is if they want to themselves. Marriage is rad in the sense that people do change because they know that they could be happier if they made a few tweaks to their madness and also because they know it would be even better for the marriage. So if you want to marry someone? Make sure that you are marrying them loving all their faults and things that make them unique individuals.
One key thing that’s made our marriage and friendship work is the ability to make each other laugh even when life threw us curve balls. And communication…we talk about EVERYTHING. We try and see things from the other persons POV no matter how painful. We hash things out. The recovery may be hideous but the healing is filled with laughter at each other and at ourselves. It is so important to be able to hash things out respectively and move on from the bad and leave it there…in the past.
Also respect and trust…there is no such thing as a healthy happy relationship without R-E-S-P-E-C-T or trust. Plus, it’s imperative for the kids to see mom and dad be kind and mindful to one another because respect, love, and kind gestures are learned first in the home.
His faith in God, his faith in me, his continuous growth as a husband, a dad and rad human has been inspiring, painful and fun to watch.
I’m proud to call him my dude.
Fart poems and all.
Yep, fart poems…he posted on my FB page not too long ago.
“Kathy Farts Freely”
by Michael K.
Kathy farts freely
Her bunghole knows no bounds
I can feel the wind blow
And the blood, as it trickles from my nose
A veritable cornucopia of fuggy butt thunder
Kathy farts freely.
Can’t wait till we’re super duper old and he romantically recites “Kathy Farts Freely” to me while we’re drinking our Ensures and eating whatever old people eat.
It will be the RADNESS.
People tell us all the time, “Oh, you two were meant to be together!” And though it’s partly true because who else is gonna be crazy enough to want us anyway, we’ve worked very hard to make our marriage happy, functional and fun. It hasn’t been easy and life will continue to throw us curve balls that will test our marriage but we’re determined to catch every damn one of them curve balls with both hands…fiercely and aggressively as a team.
And as for that mixed tape he promised me years ago? He said we don’t need a tape, we’ll just listen to our favorite music together until we get super old and change eachothers diapers.
Hongzeff World Domination!!!
Cheers and Dorks in Holy Matrimony, unite!
Love you long time,