Family Time: Hide and Seek & Lessons Learned

We just played hide and seek as a family for a good solid hour…like real legit, no mercy, no taking it easy on the kids and no more “let’s act like we don’t know where they are when we do so they don’t get butthurt…” kinda hide and seek.

The players?

A 41 year old little Asian.
A 37 year old giant Russian.
A ninja like 8 year old.
A crazy giggly 6 year old.

If you saw us, you would’ve laughed your asses off.

Josh is the best by far out of all of us. He somehow climbed onto the second shelf of the linen closet and hid himself with bedsheets.

Matty got on his stomach and slid on his skateboard from under one bed to another and hid so well.

That was a great workout for our stomachs from laughing so hard. There was some butthurt crying too cause #2 is bummed he’s not as skillful in the art of H&S like #1. The #2 child syndrome is strong with this one. Has been from day one. *shrug* brothers.

Matty: I’m not playing this anymore cause Josh is better than me!
Kathy: So anytime you don’t win at something or someone is better at something than you, you’re gonna throw a fit and just quit?
Matty: Sometimes…
Kathy: No dude, that’s no reason to quit anything…just because you’re not the best at something doesn’t mean it’s not worth doing or trying. You still get positive things out of trying and just doing things…Like right now, mommy and daddy are having a blast with you guys running around the house…so enjoy it! So have fun with it and don’t take everything in life seriously or you won’t fully enjoy all the wonderful silly moments.

Dudes. As soon as those words left my mouth, I thought to myself, “Listen to yourself, dumbass…LISTEN…and enjoy all of it.”

Today was a good day.

Hope you’re having a good night too.

Moms and Dads: Let’s Breaaaaaaaathe.

Moms and dads…

I always hear people say, “The world isn’t new…it’s the same as before…and it will remain the same…”

I used to believe this…before I had kids.

But with the internet and social media all up in our faces, and taking up a lot of our time…I don’t care what anyone says, we are raising kids in an entirely different world than before.

We are so easy to think there is something wrong with our kids because there’s an endless resource of information on all things kids…and whether they are legit or not, it’s there and we’ll believe whatever we want to believe and that’s dangerous.

“Omigod, he’s 6 and he’s not reading at a genius level yet like his peers…”

“Omigod, my kid isn’t potty trained at 3 like my cousins kid…”

“Omigod, my kid isn’t in a sport like my friend’s kid who is in 3 sports teams…”

“Omigod, my kid still gets poop streaks in his underwear and he’s 7…”

“Omigod, he can’t remember to make his bed and pick up after himself…and so and so told me that her kid cleans the whole house…”


We are so quick to compare our kids intelligence and “mindfulness” with their peers…especially with things that are posted or shown on fb or shared on play dates and a lot of us start to panic…and think there is something wrong with our kids or with our own parenting.

If your kids are loved, loved, loved…and taught right from wrong with lessons of kindness, thoughtfulness and gratefulness in the home…You are doing just fine.

We are doing just fine. They will be just fine. We just have to continue to encourage and discipline them when need be, because their little heads and minds won’t do everything the “right way”  immediately. Everything takes time…even the simplest of tasks. It’s a process…just like it is for us full grown humanoids.

When they are acting like defiant little turds, call them on it and fix that crap not only for themselves but for the good of society. When they do amazing things, let them know…lift them up for that will make them do great things more often and effortlessly.

Someone I know who used to be craycray as a kid and just couldn’t sit still at all…just got accepted to start her residency at UCLA Medical Center.

How freakin rad is that!!

Mom’s and dads…let’s just breathe.

I need to calm my ass down. You need to calm yo ass down.


We will be ok. Keep on, keep on.

My Matty says poop 10 times a day, amongst other things I can’t mention 😒, he antagonizes his brother like it’s going out of style, is a perfectionist and can’t read that great yet…

My Josh thinks he’s the new Jim Carrey, he always acts like he’s up for “best dramatic actor in the world” and won’t shut up about Pokémon but who cares…they’ll get over it and we will too.

Overall, they are great kids…just like yours.

Love you long time.

A House Rooted in Love

I live in the house I grew up in since I was 5 years old.

The boys call the room that I occupied from the age of 5-31, their room now.

My mom told me years ago after I had moved out, they were having some work done in their bedroom during the cold season, so they had to sleep in my room and made a super sad discovery. My room was the coldest one in the house and they were absolutely right. But I loved it. I loved the chill at night. I’ve always loved the coldness. Well, my parents didn’t and they had to turn the heater on full blast during that night.

My mom said she knew the room was cold but my dad didn’t, and maybe it’s because he’s gotten super soft in his old age but she said, the fact that his daughter had slept in that freezing room all those years made his heart break…she said tears were shed.

“Every winter, I would go in your room and put an extra blanket on you to make sure you were ok…” she said.

And she’s absolutely right. I would often times, find myself covered in multiple blankets and wonder how it happened.

It was my mommy.

Years later, I’m doing the same for my boys…like tonight. It’s pretty cold so I just went in there and covered them with their favorite Star Wars fleece blankets, touching their sweet little cheeks and giving them a kiss on their sweet little demented heads…which I’m sure my mother did for me too.

In the very house I grew up in.
In the very room I slept in.
In the very house that was filled with an abundance of love, chaos, growth and peace.

Now I’m playing the role of mom keeping my own kids warm at night…just as my mom did for me and also raising them to have faith in God to hold onto something to keep their souls warm at night…just as my mother did and pray that I would with my own kids someday.

And honestly? These are the memories and moments that keep me warm at night as my mother’s daughter and my father’s forever little girl.

He still tells me that when he looks at me, he still sees me as the little 3 year old who would stand in front of the tv, dancing and singing her heart out along with the people on the musical variety shows they would watch.

My dad is turning 80 this year.
I’m trying to remember all the wonderful things and make some great new memories with him while I can

Just like everything in life, nothing ever really happens all at once. It happens slowly and all the sweet memories I had with my parents, I’m slowly starting to remember and relive them as I have these same moments with my own kids.

This house is already rooted in love…my parents made sure of that…and now, Mike and I are just trying to keep the branches and it’s foundation strong for Joshua and Matthew.

Full circle my friends…full circle and it’s all done in love.


Book Review: Background Music by J.R. Rogue

I’m a huge fan of J.R. Rogue’s poetry so I was curious and excited to read a book by her, and Background Music doesn’t disappoint. It grabbed me from the beginning and held my interest till the end. 

That prologue thought.


The back and forth storylines confused me a bit in the beginning but you get used to it cause the characters grow on you…so overall, it was great. I don’t typically highlight a lot of the books I read but I found myself loving so many lines from the book and highlighting again and again. 

My favorite line? 

“You can forgive someone for the crimes they have made against you for their benefit. It’s easy, and the reward is immediate, if not shallow. Then there is forgiving someone for yourself. To be free of the weight it has placed on your bones, on your soul. This was a mixture of both.”

I liked the main characters but my favorite was Kat. She is so authentic and real…her softness while being strong is all of us, I think. 

The book wasn’t only about love but about being able to move on…for the kind of happiness and life everyone deserves no matter where you come from or who you are perceived to be. It was also about putting the needs of those you truly love ahead of yours and growing as person because of it.

I really enjoyed it. The playlist is the radness too. 

I can’t wait for this book to be released and for everyone else to enjoy it. You can pre-order the kindle edition now…release date is March 9th.

I’ll also be giving away e-copies of the book on the release date.

Congrats J.R. Rogue on writing a book that made me swoon, sigh and remember what it’s like to fall in love all over again.

Happy Rad Gross Day of Love, y’all!

On this beautiful consumer friendly yet lovely gross day of all things, love you long time…it’s a great reminder for us to LOVE LOVE LOVE and try and refrain from all things poopoocacaheadness.

We are all a work in progress…some of us more than others but the end goal is the same. To be rad humans.

So just for today…

If you get the overwhelming feeling to punch someone in the throat or just look at someone and say, “Your poop stinks too, sucka, unclog them nostrils and take it in!!”

Just breathe. Calm yo ass down and remain calm.

Eat a whole thing of chocolate if it will make you the happy.
Drink a whole bottle of wine if it will make you smile.
Buy a dozen donuts and eat it all if it will make you a more pleasant person…cause dammit…

Life is too short to live in such an unhappy and unsatisfied way…so surround yourself with good, be the good and have the balls to own up to your shortcomings and make the wrongs right…if it’s worth it to you and the other person

Also, it’s the perfect day to reconnect with those you lost touch with but still think about and have prayed for throughout the years. Time can do a lot of things…like heal hearts.


And if you’re one of those people who hate looking at posts that make your eyes roll so far back into your head that you can feel Jesus…today is especially NOT the day for you to be logging onto fb. Hahahaha.

And if you’re going on a blind date tonight? As my favorite comedian Steve Byrne’s likes to say, “Not every kiss begins with Kay. Some kisses begin with lies, broken promises, jagermeister. Some kisses end in herpes, so watch out for that.”

Love you long time and Happy Valentine’s Day!

Uncomfortable but Necessary Convos with Kids

This just happened and I’m glad it happened because the world is a different place now and it’s time to stop sugar coating everything to our kids. Teach them now of how the world really works and they will be smarter and better for it.

Forget about getting into the best colleges…book smart is good but without being life smart…you’re screwed and that lesson…starts at home.

Josh: Dad, what is the most dangerous animal alive.
Kathy: People. Humans are the most dangerous.
Matty: No, some animals can tear humans apart.
Mike: But humans can kill one another with words.
Josh: Like make them drop dead right there in front of you. That would freak me out so bad.
Mike: No, but they can make someone feel like they aren’t important or loved and that’s a horrible thing to do. To make anyone feel like they are not important.
Kathy: and we are all guilty of this…mom, dad, you, Matty…all humans. But we all try not to everyday…we try and be good. It’s a struggle but we have to continuously try.
Matty: Josh, I’m sorry I told you that I didn’t want you for a brother earlier today.
Josh: I’m sorry Matty for telling you I wish Zachary was my brother instead of you.
Matty: Yeah, that made me so mad I wanted to run away and never come back.
Josh: Where were you going to go to live?
Matty: To COSTCO. They have food and everything.

We are all a work in progress. We are all guilty of speaking falsely, harshly and with cruelty.

Let’s work together to be good…to be a better example for our kids so that they may have the kind of future dreams are made of.

Anything is possible.

We ourselves are the ones that keep from changing the world with our negativity and hate.

All the poop heads can continue to be miserable and hateful and put humans against eachother. Let’s refuse to fight hate with hate.


Book Review: Franco by Kim Holden *****

Let me start off by saying I love every single one of Kim Holden’s books. She has a way of humanizing even the most flawed and broken people and making them into beautiful creatures who we can relate to and fall in love with so easily.

Author Kim Holden and I at the Authors in the OC signing in 2015.

First off, can we please talk about the cover? I’m usually not a fan of covers with model guys on them nor dudes who are heavily tatted but good God…

A book cover has never looked so good. Graham Nation makes the perfect Franco so in my opinion, even before turning to page one, the book has already started off well with a great visual.

Often times we become solely intrigued with the main characters in the books we read but even the supporting players are written in such a way, they don’t only sway in the background, they play an intricate role in how the story unfolds for the two star characters. Kim knows how to give every character in her books a backbone of intrigue…they are all memorable.

In book 3 (I suggest you read Bright Side & Gus, first), the story follows Franco, the ever loving, foul mouthed but all heart drummer of the rock band, Rook and his journey in love, heartbreak and peace. There was a lot of hype over this book and often times you’re left disappointed but this book lived up to the hype. From the moment I picked it up, I couldn’t put it down and let me tell you, that doesn’t happen very often for me. She pulls you in with humor, realistic conversations and witty banter only she can pull off so effortlessly. The theme of love, loyalty and “family” runs deep in the Bright Side series and book #3 doesn’t disappoint. I swooned from beginning to end.

Do you know how hard it is to write sex scenes that don’t make you cringe with a side of cheese? Kim never disappoints.

A lot

Kim writes straight from the heart and as an avid reader…I am so grateful for her words.

Buy it here…now!

Slay Kim…Slay.

Love you long time,

Book Review: From Sand and Ash by my favorite, Amy Harmon

This book. Good Lordy, this book.

I was lucky enough to receive an ARC from the author.

I just finished From Sand and Ash.

My husband just looked at me and said, “You look like you just lost your dog and found him all in the same day.”

Good God, this book is so good.

It makes you feel everything…EVERYTHAAAAANG.

I gasped a few times while reading this and freaked Mike out. The last book that made me do that was Mud Vein by Tarryn Fisher.

You know a book is reaaaaal good when you have a physical reaction to it.

I love how Amy’s books are not only about people who are beautiful on the outside but people who are beautiful because of who they are, because of their struggles, what they strive to become, and how they live not only for themselves but also for those who are no longer a part of their lives and those who make life worth living.

From Sand and Ash isn’t just your typical love story…it’s an epic love story about religion, country, family and faithfulness in the human race.

In saving someone you love, you inadvertently save yourself. What a beautiful and wonderful thing it is to love and be loved so deeply that you are willing to risk everything.

I laughed, cried, cheered and swooned all over the place with this one. Just like every one of her other books, the message of never losing hope and fighting to live a good life rings loud and clear.

I can’t wait for everyone to get their hands on this one.

Angelo and Eva will remain in your hearts long after you’ve finished the book.

You run with them covered in the monstrosity of war.
You hope with them even when nothing good seems plausible.
You root for them even when everything and anything is keeping them apart.

As always, I feel the want and need to be a better person after having a Harmon experience.

This book couldn’t have come at a better time too…it will fill you with hope and love.

Give her a pen and paper and Amy Harmon can do no wrong.

You can find it here along with all of her other great books that are in my opinion, must reads.

Love you long time,

Book Review: Bad Mommy by the great Tarryn Fisher

I love Tarryn Fisher. Her writing, how she loves her fans and how she tries to live her life with purpose and adventure without giving a crap about what other think is why people are drawn to her and her talent for writing really great stories.

This one doesn’t disappoint. From beginning to the explosive ending, you are held hostage in the world of chaos, deception and raw human error and you can’t stop reading. The clever thing about this book is that you as a reader can see yourself being them to a certain degree. We are all guilty of the flaws Fig, Jolene and Darius possess and that in itself makes it an intriguing read.

This is a must read for all Tarryn Fisher fans. It will leave your head spinning and looking for clues away from the book.

This was probably the bravest thing I’ve ever read and I love Ms. Fisher even more because of it.

I thought it was like SWF but way better cause it was REALISTIC…that ending though…That was her basically saying, “Yep, this happened, I’m saying it outloud and I have no shame.”

It was like she exhaled…and we all did with her.

This book was no Mud Vein or Marrow for me but it was absolutely a fantastic read and I loved it cause it was written so purely and personally. It’s my 3rd favorite book by her now.

You know what else is crazy? As crazy as they all seemed? We are all Figs, Darius and Jolene’s to some degree. We ALL are and I think it’s rad that we are able to admit this fact.

I’m gonna do a reread starting tonight. Haha.

Tarryn has balls…BIG GIANT ONES. if you’re going to write, might as well go big  and I love her more for it.

Slay Tarryn…slay.

You can find the book here…One click it, you won’t regret it.

Love you long time,


Hey Boys, Remember that one Time when Christmas was Cancelled…

People have been asking me how our Christmas was…well? Let me tell you.

This pic was taken Christmas morning.

4 hours later, they acted like complete ungrateful little humans and they were fighting nonstop. Drama ensued between them and we put our foot down. So they had it all taken away…along with every single toy in their room and their iPads. We made the boys take down the Christmas tree and decorations too.

All they have access to for the next two weeks (one week if they are freakin spectacular) are math cards and books. They’ll be earning their Christmas toys back one by one with good behavior when they are done being grounded.

We follow through with our punishments, even if it’s Christmas Day.

Are they horrible kids? Nope, they are good kids but when you have a privileged life and you take things for granted and treat eachother like crap when other kids would do anything for a sibling, you don’t get away with that kind of nonsense.

And when you say mean things to one another? Hell no. They have to learn about the power of words and how much they can destroy a persons self esteem.

That doesn’t fly for mommy and daddy Kobzeff.

Are we still mad? Nope…we’re just fine and we all had a good Christmas regardless of what happened but they will know what it’s like to have limited access to luxuries other kids dream of for a couple of weeks.

People can call us mean all they want but we ain’t raising no self entitled buttholes. We see way too many kids get away with too many things and their parents do absolutely nothing about it or ignore it…and years later, they wonder why their kids turned out the way they did. Nope. That ain’t happening in my house. This is hard for us too but this will hopefully be one of the greatest lessons we can give them as parents.

Why am I sharing this in the world of fb where unicorns poop rainbows and glitter and kids are angels and so perfect?

Because parenting is hard. Because even good kids can act like little turds. Because there are days when we have no idea what the hell we’re doing but we do things even if it hurts our heart too. Because sometimes we wonder if we were even fit to be parents. Because as parents we have to do things we don’t want to but must for the greater good. Because I know Mike and I aren’t the only parents who do things like this.

But more importantly, because If you had a similar day, just know that you are not alone and your kids weren’t the only poopoocacaheads on Christmas Day.

They’ll never forget Christmas 2016.

As for me? Mike and the boys are sleeping and I’m sipping my beer about to read a book I’ve been waiting a while to read.

Good night friends, hope it was a good one.
Tomorrow will be a better day.