The Horrific Wonder that is the C-Section

All things C-section:

I had to have an emergency c-section with Josh and had an even more unpleasant birth experience with Matty but the whole process, the whole physical concept of having a child literally come out of you whether it’s via the vajayjay or cut from your belly…there is NOTHING like it and if I had to do it all over again…I’d do it in a heartbeat with absolutely no fear. The female body isn’t just beautiful, it’s ridiculously fierce.

Will lovingly slap anyone who ever says that having a c-section is soooooooooooooooooooo much easier than natural birth and that it is less respectable. It can be just as traumatic and painful.

Whenever the boys drive me absolutely crazy, I start to feel sharp pains on my c-section scars. Coincidence? Any fellow moms know what I’m talking about?

How when you’re short and pregnant and people see your super tall husband, they look at you and say “Omigod, you’re gonna die!” Or “C-section.”

Josh: Mom, Matty doesn’t believe me that you have a big scar on your stomach.
Matty: I wanna see it, I wanna see it! Show it to me please.
(I show them my C-section scar)
Josh: See, I told you so.
Matty: Omigoodness. How did you get hurt so bad! Were you fighting bad guys?
Josh: She didn’t get hurt, the doctors cut her stomach to take us out when we were teeny tiny babies. Right mom?
Kathy: Right.
Josh: Two times…first me and then you Matthew.
Matty: Did it hurt?
Josh: No, it just bleed a tiny bit and then they put a giant bandaid on it and it got all better.
Matty: That is so cool mom. You should show it to everybody and say “Look at my cool big scary looking scar, wanna touch it?”


Josh: You pretty mommy.
Kathy: Thanks Josh, I don’t feel very pretty today so its nice to hear that.
Josh: I think you princess. I like your big stomach, it’s my favorite.
Kathy: Hey dude, dont make fun of my stomach, you and matty stretched it out when you were both in here.
Josh: Matthew and me did not do that, it not our fault, you stomach big because you eat too much. Mom, you need to exercise again.
5 things came to mind:
1. My 4 year old just verbally slapped me.
2. What a little butthole.
3. I do need to go back to the gym.
4. Contrary to belief, it is hard for many of us who had babies to get rid of the stretched out belly fat. All bodies are different and thats ok.
5. The truth hurts.Josh: You mad at me mom?
Kathy: No, I’m not mad. You’re just being honest. You’re a good boy.
Josh: You welcome.
Matthew just touched my ugly c-section scars and said “Owwww!!” You have no idea, punk.

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