I Need a Freaking Hug & a Valium

So this totally heartbreaking, cue the saddest music in the whole freaking world moment happened last night at bedtime:

The boys and I were laying in bed looking at pictures of my parents on my ipad:

Josh: They were little like us too and then they were your age and then they got old…everyone does. You’re going to be okay for a long time because you’re only 40 and people live until they are 100 so Matthew and me are going to have you for a super long time.
Matty: And then mommy will fly to heaven and be with the big stars and the clouds.

225180668569024024WGglNtqcThen things got real quiet.

Matty fell asleep and then Josh grabbed on to me and started sobbing and kept on saying over and over again, “I don’t want you to get old, please don’t get old and leave me…”


No one ever tells you about moments like these in parenthood where your heart breaks at the reality of the inevitable and all you can do, is hold your kid until they tire out and fall asleep and then it’s moms turn to cry.

This whole being a parent thing…not for the faint of heart.

To be completely honest, I think telling the kids about the realities of death is going to be more traumatizing then the sex talk.

Man, I need a freaking hug and a Valium.


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