Being the Love of their Lives…for Now.

Mike’s been in his office working and the boys wanted to have another slumber party in my room tonight so I said yes. Took forever to get them to find the perfect spots on the bed where they would both be able to sleep next to me…fairly. Then as if being in the same bed with me wasn’t enough, they wanted to fall asleep holding my hands. So there I was, at the edge of my King bed with my body twisted at a weird angle holding the hands of two little crazy boys who have been glued to me every damn day since Monday due to bad colds.

And trust me, I so badly wanted and needed to have some me time tonight too. A chick flick, some wine, shamelessly pigging out on my secret stash of the Halloween Candy I confiscated from the boys, that was the plan…and it was good plan.

But I couldn’t say no to their insistence of a super fun night with me because “we want to protect you mom from the monster because we super duper love you too much.”

Now laying here staring at the top of their little sweet neurotic heads, I should be happy they want to be so close to me and include me in all of their silly games.

I should be amused that they want me to get down on the floor and crash cars around with them making weird dramatic sound effects.

I should be happy that my almost 5 year old wants to teach me how to play Minecraft once and for all because, “Mom, you not know this yet but it’s the best game ever, you don’t even know, I super duper mean it…”

I should remember the sounds of the giggling and uncontrollable laughter that follows after every gross joke little boys love to tell.

I should memorize the feel of little chubby fingers and hands that hold onto mine so tightly begging me to keep them safe from the scary monster underneath the bed. The monster with 12 red eyes, is super duper hairy and looks as if it ate way too many donuts and candy. Matty is actually semi concerned because he thinks it might have the diabetes.

I should be grateful for all of these little moments that will pass so quickly and will never be again. Because the memories of all this childhood will slowly fade throughout the years for them… but for us, these very memories will be the ones that will keep us warm at night when they are all grown up and on their own.

Cause once the teen years start rolling around, I won’t be the prettiest or their best gal anymore…it’ll be Jennifer from 1st period who has pretty eyes and is a member of the cheerleading team or Lisa from 3rd period English who loves Jane Austen but kicks ass on the soccer field.

*sigh* *tear* *Big sip of my beer*

I’m happy for the moments of clarity where what it means to be a parent is abundantly clear and beautiful. It takes all the bad moments of doubts, annoyance and fears and dissolves them into something that will continue but you’ll get over only to be replaced by goodness, laughter and silliness.

So who the hell cares if they are in my bed and not in their own room like every good kid is right now. I’m gonna enjoy being their favorite girl for now and be content in being uncomfortable in my own bed so they can sleep happily snoring away peacefully knowing that if the monster dares to come out, mommy will stand tall, kick his butt, bite his hairy ankles and annihilate him like the badass the Kobzeff boys think I am.

There are no set rules in parenting when it comes to things like this…do what makes you all ridiculously giddy. Do what makes you smile like a fool. Do what makes your heart happy. You owe it to yourself and to your kids. You owe it to your memory bank of things that once were.

Love you long time,