TMHS: My Husband being Whimsical (3)

Mike and I have a lot of fun together…with two crazy kids, you have to have a sense of humor.

Exhibit A:

Just overheard walking by the boys room:

Mike: Okay, it’s bedtime!
Josh: I want to see another video!
Mike: Do you guys want to watch the farting preacher?
Josh and Matty: YES!!!

Exhibit B:

Kathy: I wanna go!
Mike: It’s going to be so packed.
Kathy: I’ve never been to it!
Mike: It’s going to be all Jesus people.
Kathy: What’s wrong with that?
Mike: Cause they won’t have beer there.
We’re not like them…we’re the beer drinking Jesus people. We’re the “special kind.”

Exhibit C:

Mike: Josh is so excited about his first field trip tomorrow. He’s most excited about riding the school bus.
Kathy: Seat belts on school buses?
Mike: I don’t think so.
Kathy: Maybe I should drive Josh to Tanaka Farms myself.
Mike: No.
Kathy: What if he gets lost.
Mike: He won’t.
Kathy: *sigh* I’m gonna have heart attacks once he starts driving. Omigod, and then Matthew’s going to start driving too…
Mike: Shhhhhhhhhhh. GO. TO. SLEEP.

I’m not crazy, I swear. =/

Exhibit D:

Mike: Good God woman, our Kindle account looks like an explosion of flesh!
Kathy: I thought 50 shades was good but this stuff is way better and so good! Honeybee and Tanya recommended all of them.
Mike: You fancy yourself a writer, you should totally write books likes that and make us some money.
Kathy: Uh no…it may seem easy but it’s hard to write erotica with a really good emotional storyline too. I don’t know how these women do it…it’s a gift.
Mike: I bet you could totally do it, just try.
Kathy: “They liked eachother. He said lets do it and she said yeah dude, lets. And so they made out and stuff and did the hokey pokey, turned themselves around and it was good, then they had some delicious beers.”
Mike: (laughing) Yeah, that sucks.
Kathy: Worst romance writer ever.

Exhibit E:

Mike: Yeah, sorry but no more babies for us, okay?
Kathy: I completely agree.
Mike: Good, glad we’re in agreement.
Kathy: Dude, I can’t imagine not being able to drink beer for 9 months and even more because of breastfeeding…No way, that would suck!
Mike: Haha, that’s your reasoning?
Kathy: Yeah dude, isn’t that enough? I need beer to survive parenthood.

Exhibit F:

Mike: Babe?
Kathy: Yeah?
Mike: Out of all the girls I saw at the gym today…you were the 3rd hottest.



Marry cute dorks…they keep it fun.

Exhibit G:

Mike: Kathy, you need to sit down, I have something very important to discuss with you.
Kathy: Is everything ok???
Mike: Sit down.
Kathy: What is it??
Mike: As you know, I’ve been a ninja since I was a kid…
Kathy: Oh God!
Mike: And we need to set up a very elaborate ninja camp in our backyard for the boys.
Kathy: Why are you so weird!!
Mike: The ninja instinct will come naturally to them because their father is a ninja master…
Kathy: Omigod, stop talking!!

Exhibit H:

Mike: So who do you cheer for during the Olympics?
Kathy: USA! USA! South Korea! South Korea!
Mike: How bout when they play eachother?
Kathy: Both.
Mike: But if you had to pick one…
Kathy: Duh, that’s obvious.
Mike: No seriously, it’s not.

Exhibit I:

Kathy: Omigod.
Mikr: Whats wrong?
Kathy: I’m so sad.
Mike: What’s happened!
Kathy: I think we’re out of beer.
Mike: What?
Kathy: We have zero Corona’s
Mike: Geez, don’t do that, I thought it was something serious.
Kathy: This is serious, there is no beer in this house!
Mike: Wow, I never thought we’d ever have this conversation.

Exhibit J:

Kathy: Matty is gonna get into so much trouble once he starts school.
Mike: He’ll be fine.
Kathy: The teacher will say or do something he doesn’t like and he’ll scream in her face and then proceed to disturb the class.
Mike: He’ll be fine.
Kathy: A kid will be playing with a toy he wants and oh boy, there will be drama of Korean Soap opera proportions.
Mike: He’ll be fine.
Kathy: He’s going to cause Mayhem. Maybe we should just keep him home with me…forever.
Mike: Ummm…No.
Kathy: We can save money. I’ll teach him from home.
Mike: Babe, it’s time to cut the cord.

I don’t want to cut the damn cord.

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