Disturbing Hate for Peace: Apology Accepted
The beauty about Facebook is that you get to keep in touch with so many cool people and share your life’s journey with them. You meet people who literally change your life for the better and who you can truly relate to and learn from as an adult, parent, spouse…whatever. You become real friends with those who you knew in passing as kids and it’s so rad. As adults they become your sisters and brothers in solidarity.
Every single person on my friends list I personally know and admire…only a few I have met through friends but they are too rad to not have in my silly life.
Having said that…
In junior high, I had a boy come up to me with his group of friends who would say the same thing to me on a daily basis: “I’m always surprised your parents let you out of your cage to roam around in public, a paperbag would be nice.” Some of his friends even at the age of 12 knew that the crap coming out of his mouth was cruel, you could see it all over their faces but because of the pressure to seem “Cool” they would just stand their like little minions while my self esteem and self worth crumbled everytime he would approach me…which was often. This continued into part of high school.
I just wanted to die.
Pure and simple.
I felt like I was an experiment that God did to make the ugliest human being alive.
Obviously I grew up and I ended up being okay. More than okay. Let’s face it, my life ended up being very rad.
Today, 27 years later, I come home to find a friend request…from him.
People change, people grow up, everything happens for a reason. I checked him out and it looks like he’s doing great. Married, family, happy.
Good for him.
I’m glad he sent me the friend request because it reminded me of how far I’ve come in how I view myself and others. His treatment towards me helped make me a person who not only roots for the underdog but tries to make sure young kids who are going through the same hell know, that life will be okay. That puberty will end, school will be a distant memory and you’ll find beauty in flaws you hated before. You just have to hold on, be strong and not let those who thrive on crushing you have the upper hand.
Today, I finally forgave him.
Today, I am letting that last piece of pain that has defined a large part of my childhood that still bothered me to the core…go.
Today, I get to stand up for myself and say I wish you the best but we’re not going to be FB buddies…and that’s okay.
I don’t have the need or want to please everyone…and that’s totally cool. Who I let into my life is my choice…and mine alone.
Chapter over. Book closed. Closure obtained.
Sometimes the lesson learned isn’t about doing the “Kumbaya” thing but doing what’s right for you.
This is not a movie.
This is not a tv show.
This is REAL LIFE.
You can forgive and sometimes that comes hand in hand with them not being a part of your life and that is totally okay. They will be okay. You will be okay. Everyone will be okay.
Life goes on.
Life’s too short and fleeting to make it less than wonderful for yourself…and that’s not selfish…it’s necessary. Life demands it.