Mommy is NOT your Maid, Suckas & other Truths…

A few major lessons/responsibilities coming into play for reals FOR REALS starting with consequences for The Hongzeff Boys:

1. Mommy is not your maid, you make the mess you clean it up. You are a guest in our home, you help out whenever you are asked to. You will not be rewarded with donuts or candy, you will be rewarded with a verbal thank you, a hug or a high five.

2. You “accidentally” get some pee on the toilet or anywhere else besides INSIDE the toilet, wipe it up and be considerate of the person who will be using it next. Some of us have to sit down to potty…like me, the one who gave birth to you and does everything for you.

3. If you choose to leave your toys on the floor after being told repeatedly to pick them up and put in the toy bin? It will end up in someone elses toy bin.

4. Don’t pit mom and dad against eachother and think you will get your way. You’ll learn very quickly that we work as a team…forever. FOREVER!!

5. Don’t only look out for #1. After you take care of your responsibilities, ask if anyone needs your help and if they say yes, you help them out. No questions asked. You don’t do it to look good or to get treats or toys…make it so that it becomes a completely normal thing.

6. If you complain about your food and say there is nothing to eat, I will make you a nice sign and you can hang out with the homeless people on Harbor Blvd.

7. If you are in a room with 5 hungry people and one banana, you don’t keep one half and give the other one to your brother. You cut it so everyone gets a piece. I believe this is something kids learn from their mothers or fathers. Awareness, fairness and kindness. What we do, they will do.

8. You deliberately hurt your brother? Don’t come running scared to mommy or daddy…we are not going to protect you from him, you deal with the consequences…this is so when you become men, you’ll be smart enough to know not to start crap with people if you can’t back yourself up. Everything is fair game.

9. Be aware of of your surroundings…you are not the only one trying to get from point A to B. You are not more special than the person next to you.

10. If you lose at a game, do not cry and scream like you are on fire. Some things in life are out of your control. Life is about winning and losing so whether you do or not, do it gracefully and if you lose because of errors, try try again and learn to play better. Don’t forget…games are supposed to be fun, not full of tears and agony of sadness every single time you play or no one, is going to want to play with you.

12. Don’t be a butthole to anyone. Don’t say mean things and do hurtful things to someone who is nothing but good to you or treat those you do not know poorly to make yourself feel better about yourself. Mommy and daddy are NOT raising entitled buttholes.

13. Don’t say things like “Stop crying like a girl…” or “I’m strong because I’m a boy…” Girls are strong too. Boys can cry too. Some girls can even kick your butts. Be respectful.

As crazy as they are, they are truly sweet, kind, thoughtful and just a lot of fun…I want to make sure they not only become good men but intelligent useful men in this crazy crazy world who others will look up to and learn from…and that…is on me and Mike.


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