And the Oscar for the Most Dramatic Mom of the Day goes to…


“The Oscar for Most Dramatic Mom in a True Life Series goes to…ME!!!!!!!!!”

I had a rough night.

The kids were acting absolutely crazy and I just didn’t want to parent. I had no desire to be around them and everything that came out of their mouths annoyed me to no end.

I know that most are afraid to admit having bad days like this but you know what? It’s real life…and if I’m going to call myself a mom who claims to keep it real real and even have a blog about it? I’m going to tell you about my moments of complete suck as a parent too.

Tonight, I was absolutely sick of the fighting between brothers.
Tonight, I couldn’t stand the talkback.
Tonight, I couldn’t stand the whining when they didn’t get their way.
Tonight, I just didn’t want to hang out with them, at all.
Tonight, I questioned my role as a mother and if I’m even fit to be one.

Tonight was an epically crap night in the Kobzeff household.

I had finally had enough and I huffed and puffed and stomped into my room and slammed the door.

Yep, tonight, I was THAT girl…you know, the ones in the over the top Korean TV dramas who are sooooooo dramatic that you want to just slap them from the TV.

Mike calmly walked into the room, sat down on the bed next to me and I broke down. Life’s been not so great around me lately. Too many bad things going on at once and just too many things going wrong for people I love dearly and I just finally lost it.

Then Mike said these words to me:

“I know things are tough right now. I know that we have a lot on our plate that are out of our control but you know how I know without a doubt that you love those buttholes and that you don’t suck as a mom? Every single night right after putting them to bed, you’ll lay in bed and look at pictures of them and annoy me every 5 minutes to see a video of them from when they were babies or from that day. No matter what time it is at night, if you hear any noise coming from their room, even if it’s a loud fart, no matter how tired you are, you’ll go in their room to make sure they are okay. You’ll lay with them for a bit. Give them a kiss and crawl back into our bed. That…is how I know you love those little punk heads and you’re a good mom. So stop being ridiculous, stop hiding out in the room, come out and hang out with your batshit crazy boys and make me a sandwich, woman. There’s only room for one drama queen in this family and it’s, me!”

Haha. One of the best qualities in a good partner is the ability to instill calmness and laughter in a bad situation and Mike did just that.

As soon as I walked out of the room, the boys ran up and apologized profusely and then proceeded to hug me, cautiously…haha. Towards the end of the night, things calmed down and I had a nice talk with the boys about respecting eachother and working together better as a team. I told them we all had to communicate better to exist happily as a family…and it was good. We prayed for forgiveness for being such poopoocacaheads and everyone went to bed, happy.

Let’s face it, kids are wonderful little creatures but they have this built in mechanism where they like to frequently flip the switch with their grubbly little hands that takes mommy and daddy to the brink of absolute madness. And sometimes? Sometimes, we get so damn close to the edge, we can feel the beast growling within us.

Kids are a blessing. They make life so much better than it could be most days, and I am grateful to have two beautiful boys whom I love unconditionally without fail but it doesn’t mean that I like them all the time…and that’s just truth…and normal. That’s the reality of being human…and a parent.

So…this is parenthood. This is real life and love me or hate me but I will always give zero apologies for speaking my truth.

Sometimes I type things and think to myself, “I can’t post this, it’s absolutely horrible…people are going to think I’m a bad person and a bad mother…”

But I’ll hit the POST button every single time because I can’t shut up, I will not keep quiet and my fingers refuse to stop telling my side of motherhood. Plus, since when did I start caring about what others think of the way I mom, anyway? ‪#‎ThisIsMeYouDoYou‬

It’s not only about me…it’s not only about you. it’s about all of us who have crazy days too and need to know that they are not alone.

Stay strong my fellow rad moms and dads!

We’ll get through it…one sip of beer at a time…one sip of wine at a time…one nervous meltdown at a time.

Parents in Solidarity,

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2 Responses

  1. Jaimee says:

    Hi Kathy, I just read your blog. OMG!! I feel like that everyday. I have three girls and at times I don’t even want to be home. As of right now I’m a stay at home mom too. It’s driving me CRAZY!!!! How do you deal with it?

    • Kathy Hongzeff says:

      Hi Jaimee, Giiiiiiiiiiirl…isn’t being a mom completely craycray? I don’t even know if I’m doing it right half of the time, haha. I say and do things that I regret everyday with them but it’s a part of parenthood and it’s being human. I also know that I am very fortunate to have 2 healthy happy boys who love life and just literally can’t help or control themselves…and that’s to be expected. Come on now, there are so many full fledged adults who don’t listen and continue to do that dumbest things too 😉

      Even though our poopoocacaheads can be total pains in the asses, they are remarkable and beautiful and WE got to be their parents. Someday, they’ll grow up and move out of the house and even though this seems crazy to say and hear…we’re gonna miss the madness they once were.

      Hugs homie…we got this. Just keep the wine and beer fridge full at all times…and make sure YOU get a break too…YOU exist too…not just as a mom or a spouse but as a Jaimee. <3