7 Things I’ve Learned From Being a Mom & SAHM

Person with no kids: Omigod, your boys are so cute and fun, you must want to be around them all the time!!
Kathy: Nope, not all the time.
(Looks at me like I’m a bad person)

7 simple things I’ve learned from being a mother and a SAHM:

1. Having kids makes you truly understand that there is absolutely nothing wrong with those who do not want to have kids. “But as a woman, you should want to have children…that’s normal!” No sucka, it’s her uterus, her ovaries and she can do whatever the heck she wants with them and she is still completely normal and all woman. The world is full of parents who are half ass raising their kids already…no need for kids to be born just because of societal and family pressure.

2. Having kids makes you either appreciate your parents more or the total opposite. There is nothing like having kids of your own to wake up all the sleeping suppressed demons of what life was like during your childhood.

3. Parenthood isn’t like the movies or tv or what so many portray it to be on Facebook. There’s a lot of fighting, screaming, disagreeing, compromise, tears, apologies, hugs, forgiveness and regrets amongst everyone in the family unit. That’s real life. That to me is a healthy family working it out.

4. I love being a SAHM but the one thing that I don’t love is the fact that I see everything. And I mean, EVERYYYYYTHING. The good, bad, ugly and “My kid’s a total butthole level 10” kind of ugly.

5. Having a baby changes the entire dynamic of your marriage. If you think the fire and passion that was there in the beginning of your relationship and marriage is supposed to always be there…you gotta get your head out of lalaland and into the real world. Just when you think you have a good rhythm going, everything changes and that’s totally normal and okay. So you tweak and change up the journey a little bit. If you don’t treat each other like raging buttholes and if you’re both in it 100%…it’s an adventure you’ll absolutely love and one that you will fight for viciously till the bitter end.

6. Make time for you and your partner. We live in a time when babysitting services are blooming so take advantage of it. Have the grandparents babysit! You both
existed before the kidlets came along…Nothing works if you both don’t work. And don’t forget to have some bomchickabowwow time. Just because you’re parents now don’t mean you don’t make time for some hokey pokey. That’s what it’s all about. 😉

7. I’m so sick of people saying “you shouldn’t rely on others to help raise your kids…you’re their parents, you shouldn’t ask for help…” No one has ever said this to me personally cause they know I would drop kick them in the knees but I’ve heard people actually say this and all I have to say is: Someday when you have children of your own, you better not ask anyone for help. You better do everything yourself. And If you do…I hope you’re reminded of what you said and you will apologize to those you’ve said this atrocity to. It takes a group of good, caring people to help raise children and don’t you dare forget that. It takes a whole freakin village.

So that’s my two cents…and I look forward to more dirty looks from those who just don’t understand and think that I should say “My angels are perfect and I love every minute of parenthood!” All the damn time cause…

THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN.

Keep throwing those bricks at me for keeping it real real.

I’ve been through a lot of crap in my life but I got through it all, I’ve had two giant babies cut out of me, I’m married to a loving yet stubborn Russian giant and I’m mom to the crazy yet amazing Hongzeff Boys. There’s nothing I can’t do or stand up to. Plus I heal fast and I’ve got a good right hook.

So bring it.

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